CHOCOLATE

CHOCOLATE was first published in the July/August, 2020 issue of The Writers and Readers Magazine, a leading literary magazine based in the UK. Here’s the link: https://thewritersandreadersmagazine.com/the-writers-and-readers-magazine-july-august-2020

“It was a brilliant June day in New York City. The mid-afternoon sun hung high in the sky and the sidewalks were teeming with crowds of people. Hawkers with carts selling hotdogs or pretzels, businessmen striding briskly while they sipped espresso from takeaway cups, young mothers pushing strollers, awe-struck tourists marvelling at the city’s splendid skyline. The 19th century red-brick building that housed The Dreams Montessori Primary School however, was at the end of a quiet street in Lower Manhattan. Sectioned off from the rest of the street by elegant, wrought-iron gates and flanked by groves of fruit trees on all sides, it was a peaceful oasis of nurturing and learning for little children. Now, as the 7-feet-tall grandfather clock in the foyer of the school chimed twelve times and the dispersal bell rang, scores of children came running out of the building and flung themselves into the loving arms waiting on the other side of the school gates. Bright, happy little faces with shining eyes and earnest expressions. Eager to talk about their day. Bursting with stories to tell.

‘Mommy! Mel took my rubber today and Sam pulled my hair!’

I got a star on my hand. Look!’

‘Daddy! My teacher said I could bring my hamster to school tomorrow to show everyone.’

It was the same heart-warming scene each afternoon. 35-year-old Andrea Hayes craned her neck as she tried to spot the familiar dark head among the throngs of running children. The fingers of her left hand clutched the watermelon-flavoured lollipop she always brought with her but her other hand was free. Bella would slip her tiny hand into Andrea’s the minute she saw her and then they would walk to the car together, Bella chattering nineteen to the dozen as usual.

‘Bella!’ Andrea spotted her almost as soon as she emerged from the school, the bright pink unicorn bag bouncing up and down on her back. Andrea’s eyes brightened instantly and she waved her free hand. The special smile she reserved for her daughter was already playing on her lips but it faded as soon as she saw her daughter’s expression. Her usually cheerful child came running up to her; the confusion, clear as day in her eyes.

‘Everything ok, honey?’ Andrea knelt down and pulled Bella close to her. She smelt of cinnamon and maple syrup and Andrea guessed that they’d probably had pancakes for their mid-morning snack in school that day.

‘Today Rosa asked me why I look different from you. Why am I a different colour Mommy?’ It was a straightforward question but she seemed genuinely worried as she looked up at her mother with huge eyes.

‘Well, Rosa looks different from her mother too,’ suggested Andrea gently then. Rosa was Bella’s classmate, a child of mixed heritage. Her father was Mexican American and her mother Caucasian. She was a pretty child with olive coloured skin and curly, black hair.

‘Yeah but at least she looks like her daddy. I don’t look like anyone.’

It was a heart-breaking admission. Even as she swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, Andrea had to admit to herself that it had to happen one day. Much as she wished, the inevitable couldn’t be put off endlessly. And of course, Bella was a naturally sensitive and perceptive child and she was growing up after all. How could they even hope to keep her sheltered forever? Actually, it might have been a little easier if it wasn’t so hard not to notice the obvious. The truth was that nobody ever needed to even give them a second glance to know something which really wasn’t anyone else’s business. The look of anguish and confusion she now saw on her child’s face was testimony to the fact that her deepest fears were looming larger, mocking her, threatening to engulf them all, shatter everything they’d built so lovingly over the years. And if it was so distressing for her, one could only try to understand how bewildering it would be for a child. Trying to push her own feelings aside, Andrea kissed the top of Bella’s head and put her arms around her daughter. As she blinked her tears back, she couldn’t help but remember the day it had all happened, all those years ago.

Both New Yorkers, they’d met at law school 10 years ago. It had been the quintessential college romance but everyone who knew them could tell that they really were in love. Andrea was 22 then and mature for her age. Her family was Italian American and in the restaurant business but she’d always been clear about what she wanted to do. She had a naturally curious and analytical mind and a penchant for solving complex problems. That made her a fantastic criminal attorney and by the time they graduated, she already had offers from 3 of New York’s top law firms. Richard, on the other hand, preferred something tamer and after he graduated, he went to work for a firm specializing in real-estate law. Despite their careers keeping them exceedingly busy most of the time, they saw each other regularly and 3 years later, they’d saved enough to make a down-payment on a 2-bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side. They’d actually been scouting neighbourhoods for several months but the apartment they finally settled on was just what they both wanted. The neighbourhood was affluent, the apartment was elegant and it had a fabulous view of the park to boot.
They got married soon after in a traditional church ceremony, much to the delight of Andrea’s Catholic family. The apartment was ready by then and they moved in immediately after the wedding. And that was that. Life as they’d always expected it to be, began. Work kept them too busy for much else over the week and most weekends were spent picnicking in Central Park with Andrea’s huge Italian family or taking in a Broadway show or a Jazz concert with friends. Sometimes they drove over to Connecticut to see Richard’s parents and other times, they took small trips on their own to places close to New York. All in all, their first months together were busy, enjoyable and peacefully uneventful.

The days flew by and before they knew it, they were flying to the Bahamas to celebrate their first wedding anniversary. It was Richard’s gift to his wife and the trip was idyllic in every way. Andrea’s present to Richard was a bit more homegrown though. She’d been working hard on it for days and amazingly, had successfully managed to keep it a surprise from her husband. Between meetings at the office, court hearings and a hectic social life, she’d actually managed to convert the second bedroom in their apartment into a beautiful nursery. It had taken up all of her free time for the past 3 weeks but it was all worth it when she saw his face. His eyes were like dinner plates but the expression of delight she saw was evident of the fact that he wanted it as much as she did. She wasn’t surprised, nor were their friends and family. After all, everyone knew how much both of them loved children. What did amaze people however was that the couple announced a few days later that they were going to travel all the way to a remote village in the west of India to adopt a baby girl. After all, they were young and hadn’t even explored the myriad options available these days. The thing that most people didn’t understand and Andrea and Richard didn’t feel the need to explain, was that it was a decision made out of choice rather than compulsion.

The day Bella came into their lives would always remain firmly etched in Andrea’s memory. The beautiful dark eyes that gazed curiously at the strange, new world around her, the dimpled brown hand that closed naturally around Andrea’s fingers, the luxuriant black curls that danced around her face. To her misty-eyed new parents, she was indeed the most beautiful baby they had ever seen. So, they decided to name her Bella. Italian for beautiful. She was all of 15 days old when they travelled back to the States with her and even as she held her on the plane and watched her suck furiously at the bottle of milk, Andrea felt a sudden, fierce surge of maternal protectiveness. The feeling, in fact, was so intense that it nearly took her breath away. Hugging Bella close, she blinked back the tears. The people at the adoption centre had told her that she would bond with her daughter in time but at that particular moment, Andrea knew with absolute certainty that the bond had already formed.

The first few years passed easily enough. Despite being first-time parents, Andrea and Richard took to parenthood naturally and effortlessly. They hired an au pair to help them with the baby so Andrea could continue working part-time and the family soon settled into a comfortable routine. Save for the odd colicky night and a couple of teething episodes, Bella was an easy baby who grew into a happy toddler. With her sunny disposition and amiable manner, she was well-liked and made friends easily enough. Every evening, Andrea would dress her up in cute rompers or jumpsuits with matching shoes and take her to the playground where Bella would play with the other kids while Andrea chatted and talked with the mums. Most people were nice and commented on what a bright and beautiful child Bella was. Some people however, weren’t as nice. Andrea and Richard though, despite feeling understandably outraged at the audacity with which some people asked questions or passed remarks, soon became adept at handling them and in time, even learnt to shrug them off. Who cared what a bunch of people thought as long as the three of them were happy in their little world?
Bella was four years old when she started school. Not surprisingly, she had grown into an intelligent, bright child who keenly observed everything around her and asked her parents a million questions every day. Unlike some of the other children, she took to school life easily and bounded into class each morning, eager to learn something new. She would return home in the afternoon, full of exciting stories that she enthusiastically shared with her doting parents. In fact, more than once her teachers commented on what a naturally happy and easy child she was. Her sparkling eyes and ready smile were evident of the love that was showered on her and sometimes just looking at her blissful oblivion, it was possible to hope that the inevitable might never happen. That, of course, was not to be.

A car zoomed past, snapping Andrea out of her reverie. Most of the kids had left by then and the school suddenly looked deserted. Andrea smiled at her daughter and held her hand out for her to take. Bella hesitated for a moment as she looked at her mother’s outstretched hand and then finally took it. Even as her smooth brown fingers curled into Andrea’s pale ones, Andrea saw her staring down at their entwined hands and she couldn’t help following her daughter’s gaze. The difference was certainly stark. Gulping down the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, she helped Bella into the car.

The streets were clear and they were home twenty minutes later. As usual, Bella went straight to her room and after Andrea had helped her wash up and change her clothes, she headed to her bookshelf. She always read for an hour or so after school. Usually Andrea helped her select a book to read but today she seemed to have made up her mind. Monkey Puzzle by Julia Donaldson. It was one they’d already read before and Andrea stared as Bella pulled it out from the shelf.

‘Look Mommy! Even the baby monkey in the book looks exactly like his mommy and daddy. That’s how the butterfly helps him find his parents when he gets lost. How will I find you if I get lost?’ Bella’s bottom lip trembled as she held the book out. ‘Why can’t I look like Daddy and you? I don’t want to look different. I don’t want my hand to be brown when yours is white. It’s not fair!’ It was the kind of illogical, impossible argument one could have expected from a 5-and-a-half-year-old but for the life of her, Andrea didn’t know how to respond to her daughter’s lament.
‘It’s just a story, honey.’ Andrea said at last, trying to keep her voice steady ‘Anyhow, you’ve read this one before. How about The Cat In The Hat? You know you like cats more than monkeys.’

Thankfully, she was able to convince her to pick another book and with a sigh, they settled down to read The Cat In The Hat by Dr. Seuss. Andrea knew that even though she had managed to evade Bella’s questions for now, it wasn’t going to be enough. In fact, now that the truth had reared its ugly head, it was going to be very difficult to escape from the uncertainty of what might happen in the future. But how could they explain to a five-and-a-half-year-old why she looked completely different from her parents? How could they teach her how to handle all the cruel, thoughtless questions that would undoubtedly be hurled at her all her life? And most importantly, how could they tell her how much they loved her, how precious she was to them, despite everything that anyone might say? Shaking her head, Andrea turned the last page of the book. She suddenly saw something she hadn’t noticed before, a quote by the famous author printed in small, italic lettering on the back of the book. “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” Andrea stared at the words, stroking her chin with her thumb and index finger. She always did that when she was trying to work something out. Modest words, yet, certainly something to think about.

At four thirty, they were ready to go to the playground as usual. ‘Don’t forget to drink your milk,’ Andrea reminded her daughter as she packed her things into the small backpack they always carried with them. She pointed to the glass on the kitchen counter. It was Bella’s favourite glass with shimmering pictures of unicorns in pink and purple painted all over. ‘Down to the last drop please.’

Bella picked up the glass and instantly made a face. ‘Ewww! You didn’t put any chocolate in it. I’m not drinking this without chocolate.’ She shook her head with its raven black ringlets, so different from Andrea’s straight blonde hair. Richard’s was more vanilla blonde and Andrea couldn’t help smiling as she remembered how people had joked with them after they’d got married. ‘You’ll be in serious trouble Andy if your kids have anything but blonde hair,’ her best friend had teased.

‘I don’t like white milk.’ Bella’s petulant tone snapped Andrea out of her thoughts.

‘Why not?’ she asked her daughter then with a shrug ‘What’s so special about chocolate?’ Bella preferred the Hershey’s double chocolate syrup but she was ok with anything as long as it was chocolate.

‘It makes the milk yummy and delicious and sweet.’ Bella stuck her bottom lip out and put the glass back on the counter as Andrea laughed.

‘You know, I agree with you. What’s life without chocolate right?’ She took down the bottle of Hershey’s double chocolate syrup from the top shelf and opened it. As she squeezed a generous amount of the dark brown chocolate into the white milk, it instantly changed to a rich creamy mocha colour.

‘See that, honey?’ Andrea took Bella’s small brown hand in her’s and smiled. ‘The milk and chocolate are completely different right? Yet, see how beautifully the brown chocolate has mingled into the white milk, transforming it into something wonderful and special. Well, you’re the chocolate in our life. You make our life sweet and special just like the beautiful brown chocolate does to the milk.’

For a moment Bella looked at her mother quizzically, her brows furrowed. Then she stared down at their entwined hands and then at the glass of chocolate milk. She blinked a couple of times as though she was trying to figure out what her mother had said and then suddenly, her mouth fell open in amazement.

‘I’m the chocolate in your life?’

‘You sure are, honey. The gorgeous brown chocolate that makes our life sweet and delicious and more beautiful than I could have ever wished for. Just like you can’t drink your milk without chocolate, Daddy and I can’t imagine our life without you.’

Bella’s face suddenly broke into the hugest smile Andrea had ever seen on any 5-and-a-half-year-old. Flinging her arms around her mother, she hugged her tightly. ‘Tomorrow I’m going to tell everyone at school that I’m the chocolate in your life!’ she squealed.

‘You do that.’ Andrea smiled at her daughter, hardly able to see her for the tears were now flowing freely. She kissed the top of Bella’s head and smoothed down her dark, curly hair ‘My beautiful cioccolato, I love you so much.’