RASHMI’S LITTLE BOY

RASHMI’S LITTLE BOY was first published in the July, 2014 issue of Women’s Era, a leading women’s and lifestyle magazine. 

Rashmi’s mind was buzzing with a million thoughts as she reassuringly patted the tiny hand that clutched her’s. The big brown eyes that looked up at her were full of unfailing trust and she gently smiled down at her little boy as the car halted outside the school gate. Her heart was already constricting with the most inexplicable feelings of trepidation and anxiety as she helped him out of the car and together, they went up the steps that led to the entrance of the school.

“Good morning Mrs. Verma!” The pleasant faced receptionist smiled at them and held her hand out to Ishan “Hello Ishan! Ready to start school?” Ishan who was basically a very outgoing child, was happy enough to shake hands with the lady as he looked all around with the widest eyes. It was a very cheerful looking school which is how most play schools are. There were bright, happy pictures of flowers and butterflies on the walls and a mini aquarium and play area on one side. Ishan tugged at his mother’s hand as he led her to the play area, squealing with delight. He couldn’t believe his luck. When before this, had she ever taken him to a play pen at ten o’clock on a Monday morning? It was a bittersweet moment for Rashmi as she stood there, watching him discover all kinds of new things while they waited for his class teacher to come.

At last she arrived, a pretty woman with a gentle smile and kind eyes. Rashmi felt a little more reassured as she came out to welcome them and smiled broadly. She spoke to Rashmi for a few minutes and then bent down to get acquainted with Ishan. He seemed to take to her and he responded to all her questions quite confidently. Satisfied, she picked him up and then held out her other hand for his school bag. It was packed with his water bottle, diapers, wipes, napkins, a change of clothes and his favourite cookies. Rashmi’s hands were shaking and she blinked back tears as she silently handed it over to the teacher. The teacher, who was probably very used to over emotional mothers, pretended not to notice and took the bag from Rashmi. “Thank you Mrs. Verma. I’ll take him now. You can wait here for a while and we’ll call you if we need anything.” She slowly started leading him away from his mother and into the school. She kept talking to him all the time, showing him new and interesting things as Rashmi watched them walk towards that door that would separate them for the next one hour.

Suddenly, as though he understood the enormity of the situation, Ishan stopped just outside the door. First he looked around to see if his mother was with him and then once he realized that she wasn’t, almost immediately he pulled his hand away from the teacher’s, his panic stricken eyes, looking for his mother everywhere. He spotted her instantly and then at top speed, ran into her open arms while the teacher smiled matter of factly. She explained that this was very normal and every child goes through it. She then invited Rashmi into the playground but just for a few minutes since they didn’t want the other children getting unsettled.

Gratefully, Rashmi accompanied her little boy into the playground. She was just glad that she was there to support him while he got acquainted with his new environs. Ishan in turn, seemed happy enough to play, interact and communicate as long as his Mommy was around. But that was the clearly defined condition. Rashmi had to be around. After about five minutes, the teacher gestured to Rashmi to slip out quietly. With a heavy heart and hating herself for doing it, she left the playground. No sooner had she left however, that the crying, howling and screaming began. Each sob tore at her heart and she felt like the ultimate betrayer. As she paced up and down the reception area, she wished there was something she could do to make it better for him. There were a couple of other mothers there too, all looking as anxious and restive as her. The receptionist and other staff however remained non chalant and matter of fact.

The teacher brought him back to her after about ten minutes. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he clung to Rashmi like he would never let her go. She cried with him as he sobbed into her hair and much to her consternation, the teacher informed her that he had vomited. Rashmi was shocked. Ishan hadn’t vomited in months! What had happened to upset him so much? The teacher however was very matter of fact about it. “It happens to all the kids,” she repeated with a smile. Rashmi wanted to scream with frustration. How did she know what happened to every child? How could she be so unemotional and detached? “Don’t worry,” she said then, as though reading Rashmi’s mind “He’ll be fine. Bring him back tomorrow.”

But it continued the same way for days. Every day Rashmi would take him to the school and every day it would be even more difficult. Sometimes she wondered if she was even doing the right thing. Was it too early? Was he too small? Would it be better to change his school? Were they doing something wrong? Was she being selfish? Would he develop an insecurity? Her mind was plagued with a million doubts and uncertainties that she couldn’t get any answers to. A flood of advice and opinions poured in from concerned family and friends but nothing helped. Sometimes she wondered if they would ever even get through this awful period. She felt completely lost and every morning the two of them clung to each other in the car before the ordeal began.

And then it happened one day. It was just an ordinary day, nothing spectacular about it at all. Rashmi and Ishan were driving down to the school as usual. She was talking to him about all the wonderful friends he had in school, how pretty and nice his class teacher was, how many toys he could play with and what a lovely playground they had. Ishan was listening as attentively as he always did. They reached the school and got out together, Ishan holding on very firmly to his Mamma’s hand. Rashmi gulped down her tears and patted him on the head as they went up the steps together.

While they were waiting for Ishan’s class teacher to come, Rashmi took him to the big aquarium in the corner of the reception. She was showing him the different kinds of fish in the aquarium when another boy, around Ishan’s age, entered the school with his mother. It was apparently his first day. The mother looked nervous, anxious. The boy clutched her hand as she spoke to him encouragingly. It was exactly what they’d been going through and Rashmi’s heart went out to them. Just then the class teacher arrived. She waved to Ishan but first walked over to the new boy to welcome him. She held out her hand, speaking to him coaxingly all the time. He however, hung his head down, refusing to answer, trying to hide behind his mother. Tears were streaming down his cheeks.

Rashmi was so caught up in watching the little boy and his mother that she never even noticed how it happened. Ishan who had been watching the scene too, somehow seemed to have made a decision. He suddenly dropped his mother’s hand and ran over to his teacher who was still trying to coax the new boy to calm down. He went up to her quite confidently and took her hand. She smiled at him and he smiled back. And then he did the most amazing thing Rashmi had ever seen. He held his other hand out to the new boy and smiled at him. It was as though he understood what was happening and wanted to offer him some much needed comfort. At first the boy was confused and he hesitated. Then he suddenly stopped crying and took Ishan’s hand. It was as if they’d made a connection. They were like kindred spirits in an unknown place, holding on to each other. Rashmi felt as though her heart would burst with joy and pride as the other mother smiled at her gratefully across the room. The teacher led them both into the school and this time there were no tears, no crying, no screaming. Ishan glanced back once to look at his mother and she smiled back, indicating that she would wait there for him.

After they had gone, she inquired about him several times and was told every time that he was doing fine. Once she even asked whether she could peep in to see him but the receptionist told her quite sternly that it was not required. “Your little boy is growing up,” she said “It’s time you did too.”

Rashmi was waiting for him when he returned one hour later. His friend was with him and both boys were anxiously looking out for their respective mothers. The mothers of course, couldn’t wait and ran towards them as soon as they saw them. As usual Ishan flung himself into Rashmi’s arms and clung to her but this time there were no tears. She picked him up and kissed him on the head while the teacher informed her that he had managed to recite a full poem, make two new friends and eat a banana. It was overwhelming for Rashmi to say the least. And even though her eyes were welling up, her heart was full of joy and pride as she picked up his school bag and led him down the steps to the waiting car. They got into the car and Ishan scrambled on to his mother’s knee. Rashmi kissed him again and said a silent thank you to God for giving them the courage to get through it. And suddenly she felt very happy indeed. It was as though they had a reason to celebrate something very important and she smiled to herself as she told the driver to take them to the nearest ice cream parlor.